fire in my mind (babylon 5 | delenn~g'kar)

[fiachairecht]

fire in my mind. babylon 5, delenn~g'kar. they're constants, until they aren't. 455w, rated t.

It happens like this: When his government reclaims Ragesh 3 with warships thinly veiled as invited mediators, he explains his (actions, excuses) to a Council that virtually projects hostility in waves – except Delenn. He looks into her cool nonjudgmental eyes and knows without a doubt that her vote for or against sanctions will not be based on her perception of him or his race but of the evidence. For a moment he wants to feel shame, but then he reminds himself who he is (he is Narn, he is Kha'Ri) and the feeling is gone.

*

Or perhaps it goes like this: When Delenn reveals the truth about her actions during the Narn-Centauri War, he flashes back to the rumors he's heard about the Earth-Minbari War. He can't tell if her most recent confession has (confirmed, denied) those rumors. Strange, that the woman who had ordered the elimination of the human race would sit here with tears for the millions of dead Narn streaking her face. But she has (changed, grown) as has he. Years ago, he would have killed her for the choices she made. Years ago, she would not have cried over this choice. Neither of them will ever be free (from the guilt, from the sadness), but Delenn has taken him (into her confidence, into her very soul) and he cannot turn down the (gift, lesson) she is offering. When he leaves, they are both unsettled beyond words. Something profound has shifted, permanently.

*

And sometimes there's this: They’re never truly apart because the lines between them have become blurred. Delenn's ruthlessness has been (forged, directed) just like his. G'Kar has learned to use (words, politics) as well as she. They have been changed (for the better, into who they're supposed to be). They could never have fought these wars alone, and they end up owing their survival to each other, to knowledge snatched from (studied observation, tiny conversations).

*

But in the end, there is only this: A tearful goodbye in his quarters. Eyes that shine with pride and tears and words that (haven't been said, don’t need to be said). The knowledge that they have mirrored each other for five years, been each other's past and future but never quite been able to touch in the present. A sense of completeness and finality that casts a shadow over their unspoken (promises, wishes) to meet again. They have made each other better people, and their (time together, story together) is at an end. But G'Kar looks at the unbridled joy in Delenn's eyes, the eyes of the woman he has (fought against, fought alongside, hated, loved) and knows that every moment of pain along the way was worth it. All of it and more.