like i picture you (dare me | addy/beth)
Aug. 6th, 2024 12:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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thelonelylakelike i picture you. dare me - megan abbott, addy/beth. addy alone at college after beth falls. 250w, rated t. for a prompt at sapphic summer 2024.
Her mom says, "Beth's gone, honey," and for a moment all Addy can think is — home from the hospital? without me? — until she sees the lines around her mouth, the emptiness in her eyes, and with understanding the thought becomes just — without me?
Addy moves out of state on a cheer scholarship and part of her is always going to wonder if it's attributable to Beth's death. Finds out that she's good at cheer, not just Sutton Grove-good, and every time she laces up her shoes Beth says, I mean, obviously, you always were.
Beth's everywhere, now. In the flashes at the corner of her eyes that resolve into a stranger every time, in the dreams that never capture just how alive Beth used to be. Her therapist had told her to expect that, and Addy's even used to it: of course Beth's in her head, at her side.
Addy puts on the black tanktop that might've been hers, might've been Beth's — they were always getting mixed up in the wash. Her eyeshadow comes from the Urban Decay palette Beth left at her house three months before she died. One of Beth's cheer skirts hangs in her closet, a gift from Lana even though a miniskirt for Beth was indecently short on Addy.
It's Beth, always was and always will be, and when Addy looks in the mirror it's a tossup who looks back.
Eyes on me, my girl, she thinks, and steps onto the field.
Her mom says, "Beth's gone, honey," and for a moment all Addy can think is — home from the hospital? without me? — until she sees the lines around her mouth, the emptiness in her eyes, and with understanding the thought becomes just — without me?
Addy moves out of state on a cheer scholarship and part of her is always going to wonder if it's attributable to Beth's death. Finds out that she's good at cheer, not just Sutton Grove-good, and every time she laces up her shoes Beth says, I mean, obviously, you always were.
Beth's everywhere, now. In the flashes at the corner of her eyes that resolve into a stranger every time, in the dreams that never capture just how alive Beth used to be. Her therapist had told her to expect that, and Addy's even used to it: of course Beth's in her head, at her side.
Addy puts on the black tanktop that might've been hers, might've been Beth's — they were always getting mixed up in the wash. Her eyeshadow comes from the Urban Decay palette Beth left at her house three months before she died. One of Beth's cheer skirts hangs in her closet, a gift from Lana even though a miniskirt for Beth was indecently short on Addy.
It's Beth, always was and always will be, and when Addy looks in the mirror it's a tossup who looks back.
Eyes on me, my girl, she thinks, and steps onto the field.
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Date: 2024-08-09 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-09 11:23 pm (UTC)