end it on this (babylon 5 | delenn/shaal, delenn/john, delenn/susan)

[fiachairecht]

end it on this. babylon 5, delenn/shaal, delenn/john, delenn/susan. four times delenn watches the sunrise. 458w, rated t.

The last time Delenn watches the sunrise with Shaal, she knows it's not really the end. Yes, they'll both be leaving the temple in the morning — Delenn to the Gray Council's ship, Shaal to journalism school. The sun rises over the temple spires, turning the city into a vast sprawl of glittering silver. Delenn lies with her head in Shaal's lap, her friend's fingers gently skimming over her bone crest, and takes comfort in the fact that they have a future. It's not like there's an eternity standing between them, after all. They don't think of wars, or families, or any other obstacles ahead of them — they have no reason to believe their future isn't as vast and promising as the city spread before them.

*

The last time Delenn watches the sunrise with John, she knows it's the last time. The fact that she's had twenty years to prepare doesn't make it any easier to bear. She cannot imagine the man who has led revolutions with her, who has been both legendary and painfully normal (the number of wet socks she has flung out of the shower in sheer annoyance is uncountable) will no longer be there. Some detached part of her wonders how long it will take her to process his loss. The rest of her wants to cling to him, sobbing, as if he'll be fine if she just doesn't let him out of her sight. The sunrise, which has always held such joyful promise for her, is now nothing but a harbinger of death. She hadn't quite known how she would react until this very moment, the bloody sky before her and John beside her. She almost wants to laugh at herself through her tears. It's not like they promised each other forever, after all.

*

The last time Delenn watches the sunrise with Susan, she doesn't realize it's never going to happen again. When Susan came to Minbar to take up the mantle of Ranger One, she stayed with Delenn — first out of necessity, then out of a growing conviction that she couldn't see herself anywhere else. One day, almost without them realizing it, the friendship that has seen wars come and go, friends loved and lost, deepens into love. It's quiet, simple, much like the lives they're trying to lead (the universe being unaccountably reluctant to comply with those wishes). They kiss each other goodbye in the morning when they go to work, and find home in each others' touches at night. In the mornings they stand on the balcony, arms wrapped around each other, and watch the sun come up. Until the day Delenn awakens to find that Susan — hasn't.

*

Delenn's forgotten what it's like to watch the sun come up by herself.